Venting

Sometimes I think all I need to do to feel better is to vent a little and get it out of my system. After posting the other day I did a couple of things that have been pretty good for my overall attitude. First, I had my annual exam with the OBGYN. It may seem odd, but it made me feel so much better to have my concerns about my health validated, and explored. We'll do a couple of tests to be sure everything is okay and I won't have to worry any more. That is such a good thing. For any of you who have had a rough time with health - whether its crohns or some odd feeling here or there, it is always so much better to get it checked quickly and avoid anxiety. MOst the time, its nothing, and if it happens to be something, at least you caught it early and its probably going to be easier to deal with.

I also decided that I was going to follow the training from CCFA as a top priority, rain or shine. I was going to picture myself on the streets of NAPA making my goal a reality and I was going to like it. Well, guess what... Last night I had a great run. I got a late start but Monty and I drove a five mile route and then i just decided I was going to do it and like it, and I did. I felt great, managed to finish in 55 minutes and 40 seconds and exceeded my expectations. I finished in the twilight with a light rain and feeling like a million bucks.

This morning I woke up in the cold and snow and decided straight away that I would fit in a workout at the gym, regardless of how busy work got and that was just the way it was going to be. So I did! I got my four miles in on the treadmill, picturing myself in sunny California, in shape and looking good. I didn't "race" really and finished my four miles in 43 minutes - an improvement in my pace of the day before. I am officially back on track!

Of course, since I took time at the gym instead of working, I'm sitting here at 9:00 with a couple of projects left to do... but I know that they'll come out better and probably take less time than if I had made myself sit at my desk and felt bad cause I wasn't getting in a work out.

SO the moral of this post...JUST DO IT!! If you have to pout, do it and then get on with the good stuff. There is too much good in life to waste time feeling gloomy.

Have a great evening and go get your goals. You CAN do it!

delay

Good morning,

Just checking in to let you know how I'm doing. The last week and a half or so have been kind of rough. I normally have my Remicade infusions every eight weeks and by the last week or two I'm pretty tired, a little gassy and have some general soreness. I just don't feel great, but not necessary "bad". I was to have had my infusion on April 2, but it didn't arrive in the mail so I had to push it back. April is a killer month for me at work and because I need a whole day off to get my infusion, I wasn't able to reschedule until next week. I'm really physically exhausted. It's a strong reminder that just because I'm able to function pretty normally, and I've had a long period of remission...I'm not normal. I need regular "care" for lack of a better word.

In my training I was up to about 50 minutes pretty smoothly, and was getting in regular 5k's at about 30 minutes. My "fast" miles were under 9 minutes. I know that isn't great in a general sense, but for me and for not having worked out for awhile up until February, it was pretty good. This last week plus has been painful because to get my 10 minute miles I feel like I'm completely exerted. In addition, our weather has turned again so we've had snow, cold rain, wind...yuck. So, today I'm actually asking for your prayers. This is one of those times where though I know I have choices, sometimes none of the choices really seem that great. I could just miss a day of work and get my treatment sooner, possibly staving off getting sicker but absolutely putting some big signature kind of projects in jeopardy. Or, I can try to slow down, get in a little more rest, focus on my projects and try to hang on to my hat until next Tuesday. The latter is my choice because my work means so much to me and I'm trying so hard to make a name for myself in my new role as assistant director of public relations. I love MSU and I really believe in some of my ideas...I can't just leave them hanging. And,I'm not doing THAT badly... Like I said, it isn't that I feel horrible, I just don't feel good.

I guess its a good reminder to appreciate the days when I do. THanks for checking in and happy trails. As always, I appreciate your support. Please log onto my fundraising page and give as generously as you can.

Jodie

Jackie

Howdy, once again time has flown by... This post is in honor of Jackie who turned 14 on Monday. She is my April baby, full of Aries passion and vigor. It was when I was pregnant with Jackie that Crohn's first reared its ugly head in my life. I'm convinced that there is a link, as the two times that my Crohn's has raged out of control have been during and after having babies! Lest you think i'm complaining or registering any regret, I want to say without reservation or hesitation of any kind that I would go through it all again, times a million, to have my kids. They are the reason that I get up in the morning when things are gloomy, the reason that when I look at the world, the glass is ALWAYS half full, or more. Jackie and Dylan make my heart sing. It's on odd thing really, but honestly I think pretty common that our most difficult times in life often are right in partnership with the best parts of our life. As much as Crohns has complicated things for me and my family, it has also brought me to a peace with myself that I didn't have when I took each day for granted. It has given me patience (yes, I do have SOME patience) and helped me to stop and smell the roses. The truth is that I am who I am because of ALL my experiences and those days when EVERYTHING was hard, even breathing - and walking to the restroom was an incredible effort, make the days like today....when I feel fine but am tired of the wet, cold weather and a little grumpy because of all the work that i have piling up and because I haven't found time to run in two days....seem pretty good. I'm FORTUNATE to have a job that I love and a busy family life and to be WELL enough to go for a run. In truth I think I may be one of the luckiest people in the world. My daughter Jackie reminds me of that every day - just by being her. She is the "well" one and sometimes gets lost in the GI issues that Dylan has had over the past couple of years and before that all of his hearing and throat issues. I just wanted to post today about how much I value her and everything that she is. Her fiery passion for life, her commitment and devotion to the people and things she loves, her sense of humor - even her fears and her failures. She is the perfect daughter for me. THANK YOU, JACKIE!!!

Now, time is starting to wind down on me so I have to ask again, please help, if you can to raise the money we need to cure Crohns and Colitis. WHile it is absolutely a part of who I am, and Ithink I was meant to have it...I also think part of my mission in life - my purpose from God, is to help eradicate it from our planet. PLEASE give generously, every dime counts.
THanks and good night.... go hug your kids!!
jd